Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
