Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
well you can't waste a boner
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
