my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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