: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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