Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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