Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
