Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
