I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
