similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
