So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
