Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
