I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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