i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Redeem this text for a blowjob
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
