...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
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