You really coming over, don't trick.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
