Christians are straight up FREAKS
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
