Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
