now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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