Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
