That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
