I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
