dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
