Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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