I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
