i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
