Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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