I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
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