I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
