Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Success! We fucked roommates!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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