Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
