Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
