we're blogging at a bar
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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