I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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