scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
