I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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