I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
