hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
