I don't usually arrange sex via text message
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
