I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I am one with the molecules
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
