She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
