About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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