worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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