I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
