Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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