so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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