Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
