You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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