So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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