I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
why do cheetos always look like penises
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
