I'm lost and stupid without you.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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