For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
