I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
