Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
