omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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